


yearning

by ghostnerd



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crushes, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, honestly idk what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 15:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8758897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostnerd/pseuds/ghostnerd
Summary: When Lance first sees Keith, he’s quick to look away. // When he sees Keith again, it’s a mess.
 
or, Lance looks at Keith a lot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> okay i have no idea what the fuck is this??? honestly??????  
> its the Gay Panic™ ... we've all been through this lmao  
> this is weird and bad im sorry pals

When Lance first sees Keith, he’s quick to look away. 

He doesn’t want anyone to catch him staring the rumored fighter class’ best pilot. He doesn’t want to seem like those girls that follow Keith Kogane all around the Garrison, going on about his pretty eyes and nice hair and great body - he pretends he doesn’t agree with them.

So Lance looks away and when Hunk catches his frown, gently asking what’s wrong, he tries to think of something to say.

“He’s just so full of himself, it makes me sick!”

Hunk laughs and brushes it off.

He doesn’t see Keith anymore, after some time.

 

\--   
  


When he sees Keith again, it’s a mess.

They’re running and there’s guards chasing them and the lost pilot of the Kerberos Mission, Takashi Shirogane, has just fallen on Earth on a fucking alien spaceship. But somehow, Lance still finds the time to feel annoyed at Keith for not remembering who he is, which is  _ ridiculous _ because they’ve never actually met and Lance is the one who could recognize the guy by simply looking at his  _ hair _ , in the dark, several feet apart from him.

A fucking mess, indeed. Lance tries not to think too hard about it.   
  


\--   
  


After that, it just gets worse.

Lance feels the need to be better than Keith, to underestimate him, to bicker and simply  _ make Keith hate him _ . He just has to do it, because every time he looks at Keith, he feels like there’s a giant spotlight on him and Lance tries to focus on  _ not staring _ but he still sees Keith as that quiet and unapproachable guy at the Garrison, and he thinks about the girls, talking about him.  _ Pretty eyes, nice hair, great body. _

Keith goes right back at him. They fight a lot. Hunk sends him a questioning look. Lance feels his stomach turning, his hands shaking and looks away.

\--   
  


They’re all in the training room, bayards in hand and wearing their paladin suits. Allura is also wearing her combat uniform, or whatever that outfit is. She looks good. She always looks good.

Ever since Lance met Allura, he was stricken by how beautiful she is. And, of course, he flirted and tried to make a move on her constantly. Everyone is used to it, now.  _ That’s just how Lance is _ , they say, and it’s true. 

He knows now that there’s no way she will ever look at him like that. But there’s that need to prove himself that makes him keep going at it. He just has to.

Lance and Keith are paired up for training. Allura says they need to bond, because _ their rivalry is affecting Voltron _ . Lance’s hands are sweaty.

“Try to keep up, mullet.” He says, with a mocking grin.

Keith scowls. “I really don’t understand the whole fixation you seem to have with my hair.” He runs a hand through it, the sweat making it cling to his face.

Lance swallows. Pretty eyes, nice hair. _ It looks soft _ .

“It’s because it’s so hideous it seems like you’re begging me to make fun of you.” 

“Let’s see who’s gonna be begging after i kick your ass.” Keith says, lifting his sword. Lance’s face feels warm.

Allura’s strict voice startles Lance. “Paladins, now is  _ not _ the time for silly fights. You have to work together to take down the training bot.” She glares at them. “ _ Work. Together _ . As a pair.”

The training bot is activated and they  _ do  _ work together. Somehow, the combination of Lance’s long distance shots and Keith’s swordfighting is, well, a _ good  _ one. Lance fires the final shot straight to the robot’s head. 

As the training bot falls down, Allura congratulates them on their teamwork. He turns to Keith, ready to brag about his final shot- but his words get stuck in his throat.

He’s smiling. A genuine smile, directed at Lance. Lance’s legs start to feel weak, and he’s sweating _ so much _ under his suit.

He looks to Allura. “See how I shot that thing?” He smirks. “That was for you, princess. You need a man like me, best fighter in the whole galaxy.” Lance throws in some finger guns for good measure.

Allura just rolls her eyes and continues to discuss training methods with Coran. Pidge groans loudly and Hunk just shakes his head. But Keith-

Keith seems angry. Upset. Lance doesn’t know.

He glares, deactivates his bayard and walks away. Sitting next to Pidge, he starts to take off his boots. Shiro watches him; seems like he’s gonna say something, like he does when they fight. But he doesn’t.

Lance wants to follow Keith. Sit next to him. Ask him what’s wrong.

He doesn’t.

 

\--   
  


Everything is going to shit.

The last thing he remembers is a bomb going off and the natural instinct to push Coran away. After that, it’s only glimpses here and there. Then he wakes up.

Sendak is right in front of him, fighting Keith and Pidge. They’re struggling. His bayard is in his hands and he’s gotta  _ do something _ so he aims and shoots Sendak - or at least at the vague direction of him. He tries to remain conscious after that but it’s a wild fucking ride; he can hear yelling and and the sounds of the fight still going on, but he can’t really  _ be there. _

And then it’s all over and Keith is there.

Keith is holding his hand and asking if he’s alright and Lance - he should answer but _ really _ , his mind feels clouded and Keith just looks so  _ concerned about him _ ; so Lance can’t keep the fond smile of spreading all over his face.

“We did it. We’re a good team.”

He keeps looking at Keith and feels like melting at the smile on his face. It’s a smile he’s never seen on Keith before. He doesn’t - doesn’t think  _ anyone _ has ever smiled like that at him before.

“Can you walk?” Keith says, and  _ oh _ , Keith is saying something. Lance does a vague hand gesture. He doesn’t know.

So Keith just straight up carries him and Lance feels close to bursting. He can have this moment. He can watch Keith’s face as he carries him because it feels  _ right _ . It feels good, to be in his arms.

He blacks out again.

 

\--

 

Everything is going to shit again, but now it’s Lance’s own damn fault.

He panicked. Everyone was being so nice to him -  _ Keith  _ was being so nice to him. He couldn’t let go of what had happened after the fight. The feeling of Keith’s hand on his, of being in his arms and the fond look on his face; it was all  _ too much _ . 

He wanted to  _ enjoy  _ it, he wanted to embrace whatever was going on on Keith’s head and he wanted to replay that moment again and again. Lance wanted to -

But.

He couldn’t.

“Nope, don’t remember, didn’t happen.” 

The look on Keith’s face made him instantly regret his words. But it was done and Keith was silent all day after that. He felt heavy with the questioning looks and even heavier with Keith’s cold attitude.  _ You two were getting along so well, Lance. What happened? _

_ I’m just protecting myself,  _ he thought.

It didn’t feel that way anymore.

 

\--

 

They receive a distress call from a nearby planet.

When they get there, Lance is distressed.

The two aliens who were asking for help introduce themselves as Nyma and Rolo. Nyma is tall; taller than Lance, even. She has pretty purple eyes, delicate pink lips, and her short top is making a lot of skin visible. She’s beautiful, and the perfect distraction.

Rolo is tall, too. Broad. Muscular. A hint of stubble on his chin, chest on display. He gives Lance a lazy smile. Lance looks away.

He looks away and breathes. His hands are sweaty inside his suit’s gloves. Keith is still ignoring him.

He focuses on Nyma.

Or tries to, anyway. Because while talking to her he can see, out of the corner of his eye, Keith and Rolo. They’re smiling and Rolo is  _ maybe a little too close _ -

Nyma has to get his attention back and convince him to take her for a ride on Blue. He agrees, because he just wants to  _ get out of there _ and maybe because he wants to prove himself too. He’s not sure  _ who  _ he’s trying to prove himself to, anymore. But.   
  


\--

Fine, so maybe he shouldn’t have done that and now he’s handcuffed to a fucking alien tree and Blue has been stolen.

While he’s there, waiting for someone to rescue him, he keeps thinking about Keith. It’s fucking stupid. Lance’s handcuffed to an _ alien tree _ , and somehow,  _ somehow  _ all he can think about is goddamn Keith and his shiny mullet.

He wants to apologize for being a shitty coward. He wants many things, actually.

He forgets all about that when Keith announces, in a cheery voice, that he got Lance his lion back. 

Lance is startled. He thought Keith was still upset. Maybe that moment didn’t matter all that much to Keith, after all. Maybe that’s that.

Keith jokes about not going there to rescue Lance, but he does it anyway. He uncuffs Lance and they bicker and Keith smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

It’s not like that one smile. From when they- when they  _ bonded _ .

And that’s that.

 

\--   
  


Lance is, currently, not breathing and trying not to throw up.

They had just gone through a really tough battle. Like, a  _ we-could-all-have-died-just-now-holy-fuck  _ kind of tough. But they didn’t die, and now they’re back in the castle.

Everyone was celebrating, huge smiles on their faces. Shiro teared up a bit, Allura hugged all of them and Pidge let out an amazingly loud laugh. Lance was really happy too, glad that they were all together and safe.

Then he looked at Keith.

Keith took out his helmet, the sweat making his hair stick to his face and neck. He pushed his bangs back and laughed, smiling openly when Hunk gave him a pat to the back.

He turned to Lance with that smile and Lance could  _ swear  _ that it was the same one as that day. The fond look on Keith’s face, the  _ relief  _ in his smile, Lance couldn’t bear it, he couldn’t-

He went to Keith, grabbed his face and kissed him.

Just a peck, right on the lips. Lance slowly pulled back and felt all the blood rush to his head, couldn’t hear anything over the ringing in his ears and his stomach and heart were doing fucking somersaults.

Keith looked shocked for a second. Then, he looked  _ angry _ .

So, that explains Lance’s current feel of Absolute Doom™. He’s waiting for the punch, the yelling; he misunderstood all this. He fucked up,  _ again _ , he should’ve-

Lance is startled out of his thoughts when Keith grabs  _ his  _ face, this time.

“You better not fucking forget this, Lance.” He says.

And kisses him. Kisses him, again and again. Bites his lower lip and  _ wow, that’s a tongue, holy shit. _ Keith sighs into the kiss and Lance fucking  _ melts _ ; he has one hand on Lance’s neck, the other carding through his hair and Lance tightens his arms around his waist.

He’s vaguely aware of some sort catcalling next to them when Keith breaks the kiss with a final peck.

“I won’t. I won’t, uh, forget this.” Lance tells him. “I promise.”

Keith just kisses him again.

**Author's Note:**

> if u made it until the end.... congrats  
> this is the first voltron thing i post... im kinda nervous bc the fandom scares me lmao but yeah i finished this in a rush just so i could post it and stop lookin at it
> 
> my tumblr is ghostnerd hmu


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